redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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