She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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