I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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