Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
