Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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