Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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