I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
