trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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