Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Mom said you looked used
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
