i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
