I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
