sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sext me about skeletons
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
