She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
