You work out of a Hotel?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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