Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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