i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
