3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
