I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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