It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
