Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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