who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
