I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
