Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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