Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Randomize
