so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
