when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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