Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
