I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize