apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
