i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
