Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
