That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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