Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize