she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
