I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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