There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
