Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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