I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
