Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
