So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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