Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
