at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
