I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
