someone get that fucking seahorse.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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