How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize