I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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