How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
