I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're a waste of cheezeits
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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