Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
