Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
