Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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