hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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