I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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