Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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