My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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