There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
