i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
