When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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