It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
