How'd it feel making her break her religion?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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