Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How external is "for external use only"?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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