so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
