And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize