this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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