Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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